On Irritations.

I'm irritated. I hate being irritated. So why do I let things irritate me?

I am tired. Amanda and I stayed up to 2:30 last night to watch Disney's The Little Mermaid. We weren't tired. I woke up at 8:30 this morning to get ready for church. I did some studying after. I went to a very long meeting. I am unable to spend time with Sarah tonight, watching project runway. I have a test tomorrow, and too much of it left to study for. But the most frustrating thing is the little tug I am feeling from the Holy Spirit, reminding me that I have nothing to be upset about, only things to be joyful in. Thats frustrating because I know its true, but in the moment I don't want to live that way. I want to sit in self-pity, I want other people to pity me too. I want to throw a tantrum. And even though I've recognized this my heart is still rebelling.

God is gentle. His love endures. And he is relentlessly pursuing me. Asking me to surrender my wishes and desires, hopes and dreams, annoyances and frustrations, joys and sorrows completely over to him. All glory, honor and praise be to Christ- He is more stubborn than I am.


Lord cleanse me of myself- fill me with your love, make me ever aware of it, ever acting because of it, in accordance with your will. Help me; take away my stubborn heart, replace it with a heart of submission. Take away my prideful heart, replace it with a heart of humility. Replace my selfish nature with a spirit of generosity. Fill me to overflowing, that I may rejoice in you forever. All these things I ask, through Christ Jesus, savior, redeemer. Amen.